BETWEEN US

“Whatever you decide is fine with your mother and I.”

I heard this line in a movie and my head exploded, my blood pressure rose and I screamed, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” As if I could really do anything about it.

While I am hardly William Safire, the basics of English grammar are ingrained in me. The movie line, written by one of my favorite writers, is, in plain English, wrong. The correct line should be, “Whatever you decide is fine with your mother and ME.”

Before you say it might have been appropriate to the character, I will point out that I’ve heard this mistake by this writer in his many other award-winning works and his smartest characters often use this special brand of cringe-inducing language. I love this writer. He is my literary hero. But each time I hear one of his characters go down this path, he dips in my esteem. I must admit when he makes the mistake, it hurts more but I have heard this same blatant misuse of “me” and “I” all over the airwaves, films and… wait for it… even in print.

Is it possible I’m the one who gets it wrong? Did I miss the latest edition of Strunk & White? Who changed the rules on me?

I hear “Between you and I” all the time. It’s like nails on a blackboard to me. “Between you and ME,” folks. Why is that so hard? When my close friends blunder this, I call them on it. The saddest thing is they fight me. For some inexplicable reason, they think “between you and I” is always correct, that it’s more proper, more refined. They are wrong, so very wrong.

We learned this simple rule in grade school. Always name the other person first. That one is obvious. But here’s a simple technique you can use to figure out if you should use “I” or “me.” If you don’t include the other person, which would you use? You wouldn’t say, “Whatever you decide is fine with I.” Oh, please, tell me you wouldn’t. And you wouldn’t say, “Me and Susie went to lunch.” That is wrong on so many levels. I've even heard this in executive boardrooms. Ugh. 

Why are well-educated, successful, creative adults making these blunders? I’m not the grammar police but there are grammatical rules in play here. If you don’t believe me, Google it. 

You know the adage to think before you speak. Good advice. And when you write, you have no excuse. Now I’m asking you to think twice, think hard and think grammar. Think about you. Think about me. Think about you and me.